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The Traditional Chinese Family System
By Yu-lan Fung
2008-01-19 09:34:26
 

Filial piety is the organizing principle of a society based on a family system. Such a society is the product of an agrarian economy, which is in turn conditioned by geography. There have been other continental countries and agrarian societies besides China. But it happened that traditional Chinese society, because of its long history, had become such a society in the most developed form. The traditional Chinese family system was no doubt one of the most complex and well organized in the world. The complexity of the system can be seen in the different terms for various family relationships. Thus, in the Erh Ya, the oldest dictionary of the Chinese language, dating from before the Christian era, there are more than one hundred terms for various family relations, most of which have no equivalent in the English language. When Mr. A says in English that Mr. B is his uncle, to the Chinese it is a very ambiguous statement. Is Mr. B the brother of Mr. A's mother, or the husband of his mother's sister? Or is Mr. B the brother of Mr. A's father? And, if that is the case, the elder or the younger brother? In the Chinese language there is a term for each of these relationships. When Mr. A says in Chinese that Mr. B is his so-and-so, one knows exactly what the relation is between them. There is no Chinese word for "uncle" as such.


The family system was the social system of pre-industrial China. The family was the foundation of the social structure. The state was an organization which might be called "united families." In the United States of America there are different states, each with its own constitution and tradition, and over and above these states there is the Federal Government taking care of matters concerning all the states. Traditional Chinese society might be called politically the "United Families of Asia." In that union there were different families, each with its own traditions, and among these families there was one taking care of matters that concerned all the families. This was the royal family of the reigning dynasty, the head of which was called the Son of Heaven. Was this family also over and above the other families? In one sense, yes; in another, no. This is a very interesting point which I will discuss later.


Traditional Chinese society was organized with what were known as the five social relationships. They were those between sovereign and subject, father and son, husband and wife, elder and younger brothers, and friend and friend. Each relationship was governed by a moral principle. As Mencius said:


Father and son should love each other. Sovereign and subject should be just to each other. Husband and wife should distinguish their respective spheres. Elder and younger brothers should have a sense of precedence. Between friends there should be good faith.


These relationships and the moral principles governing them were considered as the "common way of the world," which should be followed by all men.


Later, Tung Chung-shu (c. 179-c. 104 B.C), a great Confucianist philosopher of the Han Dynasty, selected out of the five relationships those between sovereign and subject, father and son, and husband and wife as the more important and called them the three kang cardinal principles. The literal meaning of kang is a major cord in a net, to which all the other strings are attached. Thus the sovereign is the kang of his subjects, that is, he is their master. Likewise, the father is the master of the son and the husband is that of the wife.


Besides the three kang there were the five chang, which were upheld by all the Confucianists. Chang means a norm or constant, and the five chang were the five virtues of Confucianism, namely, jen (human-heartedness), yi (righteousness), li (propriety, rituals, rules of proper conduct), chih (wisdom) and hsin (good faith). The five chang were the virtues of an individual, and the three kang were the organizing principles of society. The compound word kang-chang meant, in olden times, morality or moral law in general.


All the acts of an individual were regulated, in olden times, by these social relationships. Each term of the relationships, according to Confucianism, is a ming or name which represents a moral principle. Every individual must have some name in terms of the relationships, and it is his duty to behave according to the moral principle represented by that name. For instance, if an individual is a son in relation to his father, he must behave according to the moral principle represented by the name son; in other words, he must behave according to what a son ought to do. If he later becomes a father in relation to his son, he must behave according to the moral principle represented by the name father, which is what a father ought to do. This whole theory was known in olden times as the ming-chiao, or instruction based on names.


Of the five social relationships, three are family relationships. The remaining two, the relationships between sovereign and subjects and between friends, though not family relationships, can be conceived in terms of family. The relationship between sovereign and subject can be conceived in terms either of that between father and son or of that between husband and wife. The relationship between friends can be conceived in terms of that between brothers. Such, indeed, was the way in which they were usually conceived.


That is why hsiao or filial piety was considered the foundation of all virtues. The whole structure of social relationships can be conceived as a family matter, and hsiao is essentially loyalty to family.


THI IDEA OF CHUNG OR LOYALTY TO THE SOVEREIGN


The relationship between sovereign and subject can be conceived in terms either of that between father and son or of that between husband and wife. That is why I say that in ancient times the royal family of the ruling dynasty was considered in one respect as a family over and above the other ones but in another respect as theoretically only one of the many families.


It was quite common to consider the Son of Heaven as the Father of the people. It was a common saying that "the serving of the sovereign by the subject was analogous to the serving of the parents by the son." In the Book of Filial Piety it is said:


From the way in which one serves one's father, one learns how to serve one's mother. The love towards them is the same. From the way in which one serves one's father, one learns how to serve one's sovereign. The respect shown to them is the same. To one's mother, one shows love, to one's father both love and respect


In these sayings the relationship between sovereign and subject is conceived in terms of that between father and son. If this relationship is considered in this way, then the royal family of the ruling dynasty must be considered as a super-family over and above all other families.


But it was also very common for the relationship between sovereign and subject to be conceived in terms of that between husband and wife. One of the similarities between the two relationships is that the tie between sovereign and subject, like that between husband and wife, is, as the Chinese philosophers said, a "social or moral" one, not a "natural" one. That is to say, the tie is not one of blood. That is why, as it is said in the above quotation, one shows one's father both respect and love but to one's sovereign only respect, which is also, according to the Chinese philosophers, what husband and wife should show to each other.


One does not have a chance to choose one's father. That is something determined by fate. But one can choose one's sovereign, just as a girl, before her marriage, can have a choice as to who should be her husband. It was a common saying that "the wise bird chooses the right tree to build its nest; the wise minister chooses the right sovereign to offer his service." It is true that traditionally all the people of the Chinese Empire were theoretically the subjects of the emperor. But it is also true that traditionally the common people had not the same obligation of allegiance towards the emperor as those who entered the official ranks of the government. It was to the officials that the relationship between sovereign and subject was specially relevant. So even in the time of unification when there was only one sovereign, one still could choose whether to join the official ranks or not, just as a girl might choose to remain single, even though there was only one man whom she could marry. In Chinese history, if a scholar chose to remain outside the official ranks, he was a man, as a traditional saying puts it, "whom the Son of Heaven could not take as his minister, nor the princes take as their friend." He was a great free man, without any obligation to the emperor except the paying of taxes.


Traditionally the analogy between the relationship of sovereign and subject and that of husband and wife was carried further in the common saying that, "a good minister will not serve two sovereigns, nor a good wife, two husbands." Before a man decided whether to join the official rank or not, he was quite free to make the choice, but once it was made the choice was final and irrevocable. In the same way, traditionally, a girl before getting married was free to choose her husband, but after marriage her choice was made once and for all.


Traditionally, a marriage was a transference of a girl from the family of her parents to that of her husband. Before marriage she was the daughter of her parents; after it she became the wife of her husband. With this transformation she had new duties and obligations, and above all she had to be absolutely faithful to her husband. This faithfulness is called chen or chieh and was considered the most important virtue for a wife.


Traditionally, when a man joined the official ranks, he was in a sense "married" to the sovereign. He transferred himself from his own family to the royal family, which in this sense was but one of the many families. Before this transference he was the son of his parents: but after it he became the minister of the sovereign. With this transformation he had new duties and new obligations, and above all he had to be absolutely loyal to the sovereign. This loyalty was called chung and was considered the most important virtue of a minister.


When a man "married" himself to the royal family, he should devote himself completely to his new duties and obligations, just as after marriage, a woman should devote herself completely to the management of the household of her husband. Such a change in a man's status was called in olden times the "transformation of filial piety into loyalty to the sovereign."


In traditional Chinese society chung and hisao were considered the two major moral values in social relations. A loyal minister and a filial son both commanded universal respect. But this does not mean that hsiao is not the basic moral principle underlying traditional Chinese society. In the transformation mentioned above a filial son does not cease to be a filial son. On the contrary, in his new circumstances, this is the only way in which he can continue to be a filial son. As shown in the above quotations, a son becomes truly filial by being loyal to the sovereign, if that is his duty. So in traditional Chinese society chung or loyalty to the sovereign was considered an extension of hsiao or filial piety, but hsiao could not be considered an extension of chung.


THE CONTINUATION OF THE FAMILY


According to traditional Chinese social theory, of the five social relationships that between father and son is the first in importance but that between husband and wife is the first in origin. In the Book of Changes it is said:


Following the existence of Heaven and Earth there is the existence of all thing. Following the existence of all things, there is the distinction of male and female. Following this distinction, there is the relationship between father and son. Following this, there is the relationship between sovereign and subjects.


Before the establishment of the relationship between husband and wife, "people only knew that there were mothers, but not that there were fathers." In this situation men were the same as the beasts. The establishment of the relationship between husband and wife was the first step in the development of the distinction whereby men distinguish themselves from the beasts. Hsun Tzu, one of the great Confucianists in the third century B.C., said:


Man is not truly man in the fact that he, uniquely, has two feet and no hair (over his body) but rather in the fact that he makes social distinction. Birds and beasts have parents and offspring, but not the affection between father and son. They are either male or female, but do not have the proper distinction between male and female. Hence in the way of humanity, there must be distinctions. No distinctions are greater than those of society.


In other words, that there are males and females and their offspring in the animal world is a fact of nature, but that there are the relationships between husband and wife and between father and son is a fact of social organization. It is this that distinguishes men from other animals.


In traditional Chinese society the establishment of the relationship between husband and wife was considered the first step towards social organization In the Book of Poetry, one of the ancient classics, it happens that the first ode is a love song. According to the traditional moral interpretation, this is so because the relationship between husband and wife is the "first of the social relationships."


The marriage of man and woman becoming husband and wife is the beginning of the family. Once there is the family, the marriage of its younger members is needed to continue its existence. In the continuance of one's family one enjoys an immortality that is both biological and ideal. In this continuance one has both the remembrance of the past and the hope of the future.


An individual must die, but death is not necessarily the absolute end of his life. If he has descendants, they are actually portions of his body that are perpetuated. So he who has descendants does not actually die. He enjoys a biological immortality which is possible for all living creatures. This is a fact of nature, but it is only with the social organization of the family system that this fact is brought into bold relief.


With the social organization of the family system, one who has descendants enjoys not only a biological immortality through their bodies but also an ideal immortality through their works and their memories. In their works one's own work is continued, and in their memories one continues to be known in the world. Thus in the family system one is kept both from physical extinction and spiritual oblivion.


Traditionally, marriage was considered in this light. It is said in the Li Chi that the purpose of marriage is "to secure the service of the ancestral temple for the past, and to secure the continuance of the family for the future." Marriage provides a means for the transference of the life of the ancestors in the past to the children in the future. Traditionally, it was a great duty of a son to become a father. If he failed to do this, not only would his own life face extinction but what is more important, the life of his ancestors, carried on by him, would also be terminated. So Mencius said: "There are three things (meaning many things) that are unfilial, and to have no posterity is the greatest of them."


In traditional Chinese society, to have a son or sons was the greatest blessing of human life and to have none the greatest curse. The proverb says: "If only one has a son, he should be satisfied with everything." "To play with the grandchildren " was considered the greatest happiness that an old man could have. In traditional Chinese society, when a man had sons and grandsons, he could look on them as extensions of his own life. Hence in his old age he could regard his existence and that of his ancestors as already having been entrusted to others and so could await death calmly, without further care as to whether his soul after death would continue to exist or not. Why should he be anxious about an immortality that was extremely doubtful when he already had one that was assured?


ANCESTOR WORSHIP


Here we see the essential meaning of the practice of ancestor worship. In traditional Chinese society, the function of this practice was both social and spiritual. Socially it served as a means for achieving the solidarity of the family. Since the traditional Chinese family was a very complex organization, its solidarity depended upon some symbol of unity, and the ancestors of the family were the natural symbol.


In traditional China, in places where the family system was carried out in strict accordance with the ideal pattern, the people of the same surname living in one place used to have a clan temple. The temple had its own land and income, which were considered the common property of the clan. The income of the temple was to be used for preparing sacrifices to the ancestors, for helping the widows, orphans, and needy of the clan to live, and also for offering scholarships to the promising youth of the clan to study or take state examinations in the capital. Thus the temple functioned actually as a social work centre for the clan.


In the practice of ancestor worship, according to the theory of the Chinese philosophers, the dead are called back by the living descendants, not as ghosts coming from a supernatural world, but as forms cherished in the minds of the descendants. This is the spiritual or emotional, personal side of the practice, as it comforts the individual and strengthens his morale, in addition to fostering the solidarity of society. In the chapter entitled "The Meaning of Sacrifice," the Li Chi says:


During the days of vigil (in preparation of the sacrifice), the one who is going to offer the sacrifice thinks of his departed, how and where they sat, how they smiled and spoke, what were their aims and views, what they delighted in, and what things they desired and enjoyed.... On the day of sacrifice, when he enters the apartment (of the temple), he will seem to see (the deceased) in the place (where their spirit-tablets are). After he has moved about (and performed his ceremonies), and is leaving at the door, he will seem to be arrested by hearing the sound of their movements, and will sigh as he seems to hear the sound of their sighing.


Thus the filial piety taught by the ancient kings required that the eyes of the son should not forget the looks (of his parents), nor his ears their voices; and that he should retain the memory of their aims, likings, and wishes. As he gave full play to his love, they seemed to live again; and to his reverence, they seemed to stand out before him. So seeming to live and standing out, so unforgotten by him, how could sacrifices be without the accompaniment of reverence?


Thus in the practice of ancestor worship the departed, no matter whether they are good or bad, great or insignificant, become familiar once more in the living world. They are not in the world of oblivion but in the living memory of those who are actually the perpetuation of their own flesh and blood. He who practices the worship has the feeling that he will be known to his descendants in the same way also. In such circumstances, he feels that his life is one of the links in a series of an indefinite number of lives, and this fact is at once the significance of his living.


So, in theory there is nothing superstitious in the practice of ancestor worship as conceived by the Chinese philosophers. The fundamental idea of this practice, as they conceived it, is quite scientific. Westerners used to call the practice "religion." I do not wish to argue about terms, especially about such an ambiguous term as religion. But I wish to point out that, if this practice can be called religion, it is one without dogma or supernaturalism. It takes life and death as biological facts. Yet the psychological effect is that a man is "saved" from the momentariness of his life and gains a genuine feeling of a life beyond. Through ancestor worship a man can have salvation without a God or divine saviour.

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